This week, I received manna from the mail-order gods: a new catalog that ISN’T J. Crew. That means it’s time for Catalog Police, my weekly critique of retail crimes committed against American shoppers.
Today, we’re frisking Revolve. Let’s welcome the newest gals on the cellblock:
Revolve’s e-commerce site boasts 30 million page views per month. Despite those impressive numbers, I’ve never bought a single thing from them.
Now I know why.
Bright side: I found my Tonya Harding Halloween costume. (FINALLY.)
Wait. Why are there lockers in the background? Are these clothes aimed at HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS? Oh dear god, I need to lie down.
This Babe dog collar will be a priceless heirloom to pass on to your daughters.
I just realized I forgot to tape The Brittany Murphy Story on Lifetime.
A lingerie-inspired football jersey: Just what the NFL needs right now! Surely, it can’t get any worse… right?
Okay. It just got worse.
Revolve, I’m sentencing you to 20 years in a high-security insane asylum for peddling demeaning , tacky clothes to kids. And I’m gonna need you to stay 500 feet away from all high school women’s locker rooms.