A Review of the March 2015 J. Crew Style Guide

Posted on by The Style Pragmatist

Something is happening with J. Crew. The company’s offerings have slowly started ringing the death knell, and everything is boring, drab and so 90s-centric, it borders of parody.

In the recent March 2015 style guide, the outfits are awash in shades of ecru, olive and blue — a watercolor morass of boring, drab clothes. Let’s take a look.

I owned those pants. In 1997. And they were Target.
I owned those pants. In 1997. And they were Target.

These pants are Dockers for women. Unless you are Bill Gates giving a keynote on your latest operating system, do not attempt.

Orange track pants from the N'Sync collection.
Orange track pants from the N’Sync collection.

I assume this is a biking jersey — because otherwise, those reflective stripes truly have no reason to exist.

Just what the world needs -- another gray sweatshirt.
Just what the world needs — another gray sweatshirt.

This sweatshirt is a disaster waiting to happen — the moment you shove those sequins-encircled arms into a coat, all the pink things are going to fall off.

These shoes should come with a contract that you won't wear them unless you've invested in a pumice stone and a pedicure.
These shoes should come with a contract that you won’t wear them unless you’ve invested in a pumice stone and a pedicure.

Does this granola-meets-disco Birkenstock mean this trend is STILL NOT DEAD?

PSA: This meaningless zipper spells death to your tights.
PSA: This meaningless zipper spells death to your tights.

I don’t understand why you’d want a skirt that can transform from “mildly inappropriate” to “X-rated” in two seconds flat. But look on the bright side — at least it’s easy to go to the bathroom.

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j crew march 2015 style guide