Review: Anthro’s August Catalog

tshirt dress

Welcome back to Catalog Police, my almost-weekly critique of mail-order catalogs and the horrors they contain. This week, we’ll be looking at Anthropologie’s latest catalog, which is awash in a frothy sea of unflattering dresses and wacky outerwear.

Let’s take a look.

Shimmer-Sleeve Anorak ($178)
Shimmer-Sleeve Anorak ($178)

Anthro runs into trouble whenever it tried to reinterpret the classics. An anorak is perfectly fine on its own. Do you really need to slap on sequined sleeves straight off Elvis’ Vegas jumpsuit? Even Mary Kate wouldn’t have tried this in her Dumpster-diving days.

Suede Midi Crops ($398)
Suede Midi Crops ($398)

Where do I begin? The mock turtleneck belongs on an umpire. The clogs manage to be both trashy and orthopedic. The suede gauchos are the coup d’etat — I weep for the cows that were slaughtered for these monstrosities.

Lakeshore Jumpsuit ($138)
Lakeshore Jumpsuit ($138)

I must be the only style blogger who just doesn’t “get” jumpsuits. This one seems particularly pointless — who not just make this into a shirt and pair it with jeans? Voila — it’s the same look, and you can use the bathroom without undressing. Win-win.

Tied T-Shirt Dress ($138)
Tied T-Shirt Dress ($138)

Ewww. That limp, gray sash is seriously inappropriate. (Like novelty elephant underwear inappropriate.) PS: Don’t open that link on your work computer.

Sweetmeadow Midi Dress ($228)
Sweetmeadow Midi Dress ($228)

Okay, I like the print on this dress. But I think I’d prefer seeing it hanging in a museum or as wallpaper in a rococo dining room at Versailles. The beautiful print is doing nothing to enhance the beauty of that hugely over-priced sack dress. What a waste.

You tell me: Do you agree with my assessments? I’d love to hear your thoughts!