Rehab for the Terminally Ugly Puffer Jacket

When temperatures drop, there’s nothing I dread more than pulling out the old goosedown parka. Ugh. Otherwise known as the Lumpy Sleeping Bag, the parka may be the most unattractive necessity of New York City living. (Along with mouse traps and those little clip-on containers of hand sanitizer.)

I refused to buy a parka until last year’s treacherous winter rendered my wool overcoats as effective as a Chinatown pashmina. Interestingly, no-nonsense, ultra-hardcore parkas started getting major fashion play as soon as the term Polar Vortex was coined.

Puffer Jacket: Prada (Consignment) | Chartreuse Sweater: Rachel Roy (Macy's) | Leather Skirt: Alice & Olivia (Consignment) | Handbag: Alexander Wang (Nordstrom) | Boots: Stuart Weitzman | White Knee-High Socks: Free People
Puffer Jacket: Prada (Consignment) | Chartreuse Sweater: Rachel Roy (Macy’s) | Leather Skirt: Alice & Olivia (Consignment) | Handbag: Alexander Wang (Nordstrom) | Boots: Stuart Weitzman | White Knee-High Socks: Free People | Necklace: Target

While parkas may be necessary, must they always be so shapeless? And moreover, must they be SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE? Down coats by hardcore purveyors like Canada Goose and Moncler run anywhere from $700 to $2,140. Those prices are not typos.

If I ever have a reason to go to the Arctic, fine, I’ll take out a loan to get the right equipment. But in the meantime, I can’t deploy a mortgage payment for goose feathers in a nylon garbage sack.

So, I took to the consignment racks.

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This down jacket is Prada and cost less than $300 at Tokyo 7. For big-ticket items, I highly recommend trolling consignment stores and e-tail shop before plunking down the full price. (Last night, spotted a Canada Goose parka on the Real Real for less than $250.) It zips up into an enormous funnel collar. And unzipped, the collar unfurls into loose lapels that cover the entire shoulder. It’s the fashion-forward details that make this more fun than the usual gear from the ski lodge gift shop.

There is a caveat, of course. Like all parkas, this jacket adds a lot of bulk — but thanks to the elasticized, nipped-in waist, the ballooning element is kept to a minimum.

What’s your take on the winter parka? How do you inject the sleeping bag silhouette with a little style?

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